


Letters to Clyde Frog

by ShippyBich



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-19 03:17:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13695747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippyBich/pseuds/ShippyBich
Summary: Eric Cartman always did have a strange mind.





	Letters to Clyde Frog

**Author's Note:**

> Short and angsty, just the way I like 'em.

_Dear Clyde Frog,_

_How's life been-oops, I mean, how's everything been going for you? I hope things are better for you than they are for me. You see, I've been having some weird feelings, if you want to call them that. Lately, Kyle hasn't seemed as Jooish. He's still the same, don't get me wrong, but it feels like he's different. So I've come to the conclusion that maybe its me who's starting to see things differently. But if that's the case, then why would I? Answer me back!_

_Love, Eric_

_-_

_Dear Clyde Frog,_

_I'm worried, I think its getting worse. Today at school, I didn't even do anything to upset Kyle. But I still want him to pay attention to me. Isn't that weird? But anyways, I'm hoping that this is all in my head, even though we both know I'm never wrong. Answer me back!_

_Love, Eric_

_-_

_Dear Clyde Frog,_

_It's definetely getting worse. Kyle and Stan were over at my house today, and when Kyle had to leave, I actually missed him. Can you believe that? How on Earth could I miss Kyle? Hopefully I was just feeling lonely because my mom wasn't home. Kyle's always bitchy, kinda like a mom. Answer me back!_

_Love, Eric_

_-_

_Dear Clyde Frog,_

_I just got back from detention. Today at school Kyle and Heidi were getting all lovey dovey. And guess what I did. I punched that whore right in her backstabbing face. What the hell? Why do I even give a shit? I probably just got tired of watching them be all gross with each other. Who does Heidi think she is, joking and flirting with my Kyle? I mean, I'm the only one who should be picking on him. Answer me back!_

_Love, Eric_

_-_

_Dear Clyde Frog,_

_I don't understand! What's happening to me? Today in class I was day dreaming about fucking Kyle. I mean literally me fucking Kyle. My dick in his-no I'm not telling you about that. But then guess what happened. I popped a boner. I sat there in class the rest of the morning with a Joo boner! At least at lunch I had the opportunity to jack off in the bathroom. But it was to Kyle. I yanked my weiner to Kyle! Why the hell did I find the image of me and Kyle fucking sexy? He'd probably give me his Joo diseases or something. Eww! Answer me back!_

_Love, Eric_

_-_

_Dear Clyde Frog,_

_Recently I've been wondering what it would be like to marry Kyle. Of course I would be the one wearing the tux. I'm not a fag. Besides, Kyle would look so pretty, I mean, he'd look like such a pussy in a wedding dress. With his hair all done up, a jeweled vail over his face, a set of shiny white heels on his small feet. The diamond ring I'd slip onto his delicate little finger. He'd look stunning, I mean, he'd look so stupid. And he'd be humiliated. Kyle's actually really self conscious. But he shouldn't be..._

 

 

_I don't know anymore..._

_Love, Eric_

_-_

_Dear Eric,_

_I'm sorry to tell you this, but it sounds like you're... in love with Kyle. If you want my honest opinion, I think you've always been in love with him, but you don't want to admit it because he reminds you so much of your father, which is why you treat him the way you do. He's everything you despise, yet he's everything you adore. I know you aren't going to like this, but I think you should confess to Kyle. Tell him that you're sorry. Tell him that you love him. Do it for me, Eric._

_Love, Clyde Frog_

_**_

Kyle wished that he hadn't gone anywhere near the stack of letters on Eric's bedroom desk. Nosyness was always a flaw of his. He nearly jumped when Eric came through the door.

"Okay, I'm back with the food. By the way, Kyle, can I um, tell you something important?"

When Eric's expression suddenly darkened, Kyle knew that he figured out what he had done. He wanted to apologize, then ask if him if what he had written was true, but the mix of guilt and fear he felt was making him barely able to breathe.

"I see you looked at my letters. You know, you could of at least tried to make it seem like you didn't read them. You would have saved me a lot of pain and embarressment. But, I suppose it serves me right. I thought your mom was the biggest bitch I've ever met," he laughed stalely, "Turns out it was karma instead."

**Author's Note:**

> Just to make things clearer: in case some people might not have figured it out, Cartman wrote Clyde Frog's letter as a response to his own letters. He was using writing to Clyde Frog and having him write back as a way to build up the courage to confess his feelings to Kyle. Hope this clears up any confusion!


End file.
